19/08/2015

On mothers & childless witches

Femme Maison by Louise Bourgeois
My mum once funnily said something about me eventually getting married and having kids (in the future) when I was 17. I remember I stopped all things, and had a deadly serious discussion with her about this, explained thoroughly she is not allowed to say anything of this sort EVER, and that this kind of rhetoric has contributed to the oppression and misery of billions of women/transmen *including herself*. 
Not only that, but she was also to discourage other family members from doing it to me/others.
It worked beautifully.
On the other hand, women face hurtful valorisations on both edges of this:
'X is awesome for not having kids' is another way of dehumanising them—saying their value comes from something outside of just being themselves, and fulfilling their humanity in the best possible way.
Having said that, I understand why we need to celebrate childless witches as a counter-paradigm of what is a very real and oppressive societal demand, but we also must celebrate mothers beyond their parenthood and in their full humanity.
Concluding:
You should feel no pressure to have kids, but also no pressure to stick with your decision of not having any; parenthood is NOT an ideology.

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